Watch, Pause, Google, Regret
Once again, I've found a new TV show I like, and it's up to me to meet the incredibly low bar I've set for myself to finish it.
At this point, people have given up on me to finish movies, so I have given up on myself as well. Which, if you think about it, is only appropriate.
Now, I just nibble away like a rat living its best life in someone else's pantry. Or maybe I'm more like a kid who's just discovered a new toy and instantly forgets their old favorite. Or a little bit of both.
This time, the show is Sex and the City (SATC).
I was already a few episodes past the halfway point of season one when the now very familiar impulse to pause everything and go down the rabbit hole of finding all about the cast on Wikipedia struck me.
By the way, if you're not donating to Wikipedia yet, you really should. I mean it!
This time, the need to "research" felt even more urgent. Maybe it was all the fourth-wall breaking, and after a couple of hours of what feels like conversation, isn't it only polite to know a little more about the person on the other side?
Extra: You should read my declaration.
Suppose you've never watched a movie or show with me. In that case, you might not know that in addition to loving watching movies, I get an oddly specific thrill from learning random facts about the people on screen.
Times when I'm watching a movie with my boyfriend, I'll often turn to him and say, "Did you know this actor is actually ___ in real life???" And he'll look at me like, "Why do either of us need to know that, this woman?"
Anyway, just as I was about to reach for my phone to start my usual googling spree, he asked me, "What happens when you find something upsetting, and then stop watching the show… adding it to your ever-growing list of unfinished series?"
And well… he's not wrong. Like I said, I'm that rat. Or that child. Pick your metaphor.
I ignored him.
But, as I sometimes—okay, often—like to call him, My Mr. Right was right again. Because I found exactly what I wasn't looking for.
I was looking up Mr. Big when I stumbled on the sexual assault allegations against the actor who played him.
Normal, normal (my brother's favorite phrase), this should have been my cue to stop watching. Because, as I like to say, no artist is so talented that I'll continue supporting their work if their actions clash with my values.
I've never figured out how to separate the art from the artist, and if I'm going to spend hours engaging with you (even virtually, through a screen), then we'd better be aligned neutrally. At the very least, your actions shouldn't make me sick.
But this time… I didn't stop watching.
Partly because he's not the core of the show—the women are the true heart of SATC. And partly because, after reading more about what followed the allegations, it felt like life had already issued its reckoning.
So I let myself keep watching.
Still, it was a sobering reminder that if you live without integrity, life will eventually meet you with consequences.
Shout-out to the brave women who came forward, and to everyone doing the hard work of creating a safer, more just world.
...Or maybe I'm just making excuses to keep watching Sex and the City. Who knows?